Daring Dan and the Trio of Doom.

As many of you know I have been on the hunt for a new job as of late. In that hunt I have found the need to buy a suit. Yes, I know, ha ha ha Dan in a suit. Get it out of your system and move on.
So me not knowing anything take a drive the Men's Warehouse with my intrepid wife by my side.

As we entered we were presented with a choice. We did not know it then but this was the choice that was to ultimately dictate the entire tone of the trip to the Men's Warehouse. We had to decide between the young guy (young like 16 ) and the older guy ( older like 60 ). I chose the older gentleman under the pretense that he had actually had occasion to were a suit in his life and had some idea as to how that was supposed to go. What I could not have know was that this gentlemen had reached the pinnacle of his suit knowledge in 1978 and was now going to impart that 70's knowledge to me.

Here are the highlights in approximate order:
1. If you are going to were a suit to work you need to have 10!
2. If you want to verstitle you have to buy a "trio", which is a suit with a pair of pants thrown in that are hideous.
3. It is acceptable, by his standards to were a mock turtle neck sweater as an alternative to a shirt and tie to be casual.
4. I need to very seriously consider a blue blazer with brass buttons.
5. Whatever I have or have borrowed could not possibly be the right thing.
6. The color of you shoes can make you shorter or taller.
7. Its pleated pants or nothing.
8. Suspenders help you be remembered by people?
9. You may be totally ignored in an interview if you do not have the right "tie chain"
10. You are ultimately hired in the first 15 seconds of being seen by your interviewer, which includes walking down the hall in you coat ("we sell the proper coat here").
11. First impressions are everything and you are judged on your appearance. (from a man with brown teeth, suspenders, and clothes that don't fit.)

Additionally, he continually referred to my wife assertively by her first name and at one point asked for permission to slap her.
Needless to say we did not buy a suit from him or return to the Men's Warehouse.

I did indeed get a great suit, from JC Penney of all places for all of a hundred bucks (normally 300+). And because the parts were sold as separates did not need any alterations.

I look good in a suit.